How to administer eyedrops to a toddler.

Step 1: Gently explain to the toddler why he needs the drops in his eyes.

Step 2: Bribe the toddler to lie still with his head in your lap.

Step 3: Pry the toddler's hands from his face.

Step 4: Chase the toddler through the house asking him to be brave.

Step 5: Convince the toddler to try one drop while he looks at the tv.

Step 6: Accept the fact that the toddler feels that screaming while blindly thrashing around is appropriate retribution for successfully getting a drop in his eye.

Step 7: Try bribing the toddler again.

Step 8: Chase the toddler to the bathroom where he locks himself in.

Step 9: Trick the toddler into opening the bathroom door with empty promises of ice cream.

Step 10: Randomly squirt the eyedrops at the toddler's face when he opens the door and hope that some gets in his other eye.

Step 11: Decide to wait for backup and then double-team the toddler when spouse comes home.